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Harmonizing for Kids

Play Therapy | Child, Adolescent and Family Therapy | Boulder, CO | Maribeth Nelson, MA, LPC

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Trauma & EMDR

About Trauma

If you’ve gone through a traumatic experience, you may be struggling with upsetting emotions, frightening memories, or a sense of constant danger that you just can’t kick. Or you may feel numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people.

When bad things happen, it can take awhile to get over the pain and feel safe again. But with treatment and support from family and friends you can recover from emotional and psychological trauma. Whether the traumatic event happened years ago or yesterday, you can heal and move on.

Traumatic experiences may involve a threat to life or safety, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and alone can be traumatic, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the situation alone that determines whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized.

A stressful event is most likely to be traumatic if:

  • It happened unexpectedly.
  • You were unprepared for it.
  • You felt powerless to prevent it.
  • It happened repeatedly.
  • Someone was intentionally cruel.
  • It happened in childhood.

Emotional and psychological trauma can be caused by single-blow, one-time events, such as a horrible accident, a violent attack, or a natural disaster. Trauma can also stem from ongoing, relentless stress, such as living in a crime-ridden neighborhood, struggling with cancer, or an abusive relationship.

Commonly overlooked sources of emotional and psychological trauma:

  • Falls or sports injuries
  • Surgery (especially in the first 3 years of life)
  • The sudden death of someone close
  • An auto accident
  • The breakup of a significant relationship
  • A humiliating or deeply disappointing experience
  • The discovery of a life-threatening illness or disabling condition
  • Symptoms of emotional and psychological trauma

Following a traumatic event, most people experience a wide range of physical and emotional reactions. These are NORMAL reactions to ABNORMAL events.

These symptoms and feelings typically last from a few days to a few months, gradually fading as you process the trauma. But even when you’re feeling better, you may be troubled from time to time by painful memories or emotions — especially in response to triggers such as the anniversary of the event; or an image, sound, or situation that reminds you of the traumatic experience.

Trauma, the Body and the Brain

Trauma disrupts the body’s natural equilibrium, freezing you in a state of hyper arousal and fear. In essence, your nervous system gets stuck in overdrive. Successful trauma treatment must address this imbalance and reestablish your sense of physical and emotional safety.

Trauma also disrupts the functioning of the brain by affecting information processing and the integration of information in different levels and structures of the brain. Because of this, it may be next to impossible to integrate traumatic memories into the present without professional help.

When to seek professional help for emotional or physical trauma

Recovering from a traumatic event takes time, and everyone heals at his or her own pace. But if months have passed and your symptoms aren’t letting up, you may need professional help from a trauma expert.

It’s a good idea to seek professional help if you are:

  • Having trouble functioning at home, school, or work
  • Suffering from severe fear, anxiety, or depression
  • Unable to form close, satisfying relationships
  • Experiencing terrifying memories, nightmares, or flashbacks
  • Avoiding more and more things that remind you of the trauma
  • Emotionally numb and disconnected from others
  • Unable to regulate your bodily and emotional states
  • Are in fight, flight or freeze mode most of the time
  • Using alcohol or drugs to feel better

And are experiencing any of the following physical or emotional symptoms:

  • Insomnia or nightmares
  • Being easily startled
  • Racing heartbeat
  • Aches and pains
  • Fatigue
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Edginess and agitation
  • Muscle tension
  • Anger, irritability, or mood swings
  • Guilt, shame, self blame
  • Feeling sad or hopeless
  • Confusion
  • Anxiety and fear
  • Withdrawing from others
  • Feeling disconnected or numb

Successful trauma treatment will include the following:

  • Physical, emotional, and intellectual regulation skills – such as body awareness, relaxation, containment, and visualization skills.
  • Processing of traumatic memories and feelings
  • Discharging pent up “fight, flight, or freeze” energy
  • Reestablishing confidence, competence, and connection
Trauma treatment modalities

The most successful trauma treatment protocols include: EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing); body centered modalities such as Somatic Experiencing and Sensory Motor Psychotherapy; and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Maribeth Nelson, MA, LPC, is an EMDR Level II therapist, has specific EMDR training related to children, and has been using EMDR successfully with both children and adults since 2000.

About EMDR

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a form of psychotherapy that was developed to relieve symptoms resulting from disturbing and unresolved life experiences. The approach was developed by Francine Shapiro to resolve the development of trauma related disorders resulting from exposure to traumatic or distressing events such as rape and combat. Research has shown its efficacy in the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder. It has also been used effectively in a variety of issues such as anxiety, grief and loss, stress management and vicarious trauma, and creating positive internal resources and performance enhancement skills.

EMDR is unique in that it utilizes bilateral stimulation of the brain (either visual, sound, or tactile stimulation) which is coupled with cognitions, visualized images, and body sensations. EMDR also uses dual attention awareness to move between the traumatic material and the current safety of the present moment. This dual awareness prevents re-traumatization from exposure to the traumatic material. The bilateral stimulation appears to decrease the vividness of negative emotions, sounds, and images associated with memories of disturbing events; increases cognitive flexibility; and allows the brain to resume normal information processing.

What Clients are Saying

Finding her saved our family

Maribeth worked with our child to discover what was causing him to act out and to teach him coping strategies to deal with his anger issues and frequent outbursts. Not only did she help our child; but, she also helped us to create a more nurturing and welcoming home environment for each other and our children. We cannot recommend Maribeth highly enough: for our family, finding her saved our family. — Parents of a 12-year old boy  

I have learned a coping skill

So I learned that I should not kill myself. People would miss me and I would be dead and so it would be sad for people. I think I have learned a coping skill to work out, so yeah, that helps. So I do that if I’m pissed off. So yeah, dude, don’t be mad, cowboy up and deal with it. — 15-year-old boy

natural gift

Maribeth has a natural gift of working with children. She has an incredible ability to determine the child’s needs and interpret those needs into real life solutions. Our child, in a little amount of time, has grown and shifted so much – all for the better. She has helped to transform our family dynamics and make a closer unit. — Parents of a 5-year old girl

work has been priceless

My daughter and I moved to Colorado while we were going through trauma. ... Not only did she help my daughter, but she gave me the tools I needed to help manage and cope with my daughters emotional trauma. When we first met Maribeth my daughter was struggling emotionally and today she is thriving and enjoying healthy relationships. ... Maribeth’s work with my daughter has been priceless. — Mother of an 8-year-old girl

weight lifted off

I feel very good, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t think cutting is something I will ever do anymore and I don’t think it is a good way to solve things. But I think I want to remember this because it has made me change my way of handling my problems in life. And remember to always try and find the good out of something bad. — 14-year-old girl

another year of healing

You are priceless and your help over the years has been amazing. Here’s to another year of healing. — Mother of a sexually abused 4-year-old

I learned a lot

I wanted to thank you for helping me in this dark hole of depression. I learned a lot from being with you. And if I didn’t call you I’d probably be dead in my head. — 15-year-old boy

it means the world to me

Thank you for all the support you gave our family when we really needed it. As a mother, it means the world to me that J got the help he needed. Thank you for the work you do, I believe years from now I will look back and see that your investment in this kid made a difference in his life. — Mother of 15-year-old

helping me through all the tough, roughs

Thank you for helping me through all the tough, roughs and always being there for me. You Rock My Sox! — 12-year-old girl

warm, fun, trusting place

Thank you for your support of S and her process. For playing, for being silly, for listening, for providing a warm, fun, trusting place for growth and transformation. — Mother of 6-year-old

play cards and have tea

We play cards and have tea and I talk about my feelings. It makes me feel better.

remember your happy place

So over the past time with Maribeth you’ve gotten better at almost everything. No matter what happens in the past you can get over anything as long as you put your mind to it. Remember your happy place. If you go to this happy place it helps you calm down, relax, and feel better about yourself. Don’t let people bring you down, you’re stronger than them. Don’t let drugs influence you, you don’t need them. Remember your sweet happy self. — 17-year-old girl

make us a better family

Thank you for being our counselor and helping to make us a better family. I can’t express how much I have appreciated all the help that you have given us. Thank you.

you will be missed!

Thank you for being C and K’s counselor and helping make us a better family. I can’t express how much I appreciate all the help you gave us. I can’t express how the boys and I will miss you! You will be missed! — Mother of 6- and 8-year-old boys

not to be so dramatic

I’ve learned so much in these past months it’s unbelievable. Here’s a very important thing to take from these meetings is to ENJOY life. Shit happens and that’s no excuse for death. It’s not worth the time and energy. I’m past that. Over it. Moved on. When I’m mad or depressed, I tell someone. I’ve learned not to be so dramatic over things and to never let anything under my skin. I’m strong. — 15-year-old boy

all the wonderful work

Please accept our thanks for all the wonderful work you have done with M. It definitely has made a big difference. — Parents of 10-year-old girl.

have fun too!

Dear Maribeth, I appreciate you because you don’t just make us do work, you make sure we have fun too! — 10-year-old girl

lucky to have found you

Thank you for all of your help and guidance with our kids. We are lucky to have found you. — Parents of 13- and 18-year-old boy and girl

talk to people if I need help

What I learned is that I should talk to people if I need help. Also not to worry about the kids and that I’m not the mom. I also learned why I was here and about my problem I had and got over. What I like about this is I have a new friend and someone to talk to. — 11-year-old girl

play houses

Thank you for all my play houses. I enjoyed the things I’ve done with you. — 8-year-old boy

slow down and go inside

Thanks so much for all you offer me! I appreciate your reminders to slow down and go inside, it definitely helps me cultivate my own strength and knowing. — 25-year-old woman

maintain positive

I have learned so much in therapy. It helped me in a lot of things. Knowing how to relax and what to do when I’m stressed. I know from now that I should not put my anger or stress upon myself and do something to keep me busy and to always avoid negative people. From now and later in the future I should maintain positive and not think negative. I’m very thankful to have actually done therapy and having you help me. — 15-year-old girl

helping to make us a better family

Thank you for being our counselor and helping to make us a better family. I can’t express how much I have appreciated all the help that you have given us. Thank you.

now I live a happier life

Well, in the beginning of 8th grade I was very depressed about how life was, I wanted to die and I hated my mom. I posted some things on Facebook and someone turned me in. They decided I needed a counselor. For about 3 months I met with a counselor named Maribeth. In the beginning I wasn’t so excited, but now I am so much happier. Maribeth showed me relaxation stuff and it was good to let my feelings out. Now I live a happier life with no suicide thoughts and no cutting! — 15-year-old girl

From the Blog …

Screen Time

I recently viewed the documentary “Screenagers” by Dr. Delaney Rustun at Running River School (1370 Park Circle, Lafayette CO) and participated in a group discussion afterwards. If you haven’t seen this documentary, I … [Read More...]

Contact Maribeth

2025: Maribeth is now semi-retired and no longer accepting new clients.

Email: maribeth.nelson@nullgmail.com

 

Maribeth’s Vision

Maribeth’s vision is to participate in developing vital, balanced, integrated, harmonious children and families who are then in a position to fully offer their gifts to the world.

cute-sisters

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