What Kids Need to Grow Up Whole
- To be loved, liked and accepted for who they are. This includes physical and emotional safety so the child feels secure in both receiving and expressing, the giving of touch and affection, and an openness to the healthy functioning of all the parts of a child’s being – not only the parts the adult(s) are comfortable with. Acceptance of their weak points and room for making mistakes; encouraging the child to develop honesty; adults willing to get down in the trenches with them and work things out.
- A good natural (preferably organic) diet. An understanding of how food comes to them, and an appreciation for that process. Ideally, some hands-on experience with as many steps and stages of that process through growing food, learning to cook, etc.
- Being centered in the body, grounded, the development of natural physical strength, and a solid mind/body connection all of which lay the foundation for body sensing. Body sensing is the capacity to know yourself and the ability to perceive and accurately sense other people and the world around them. This provides the base from which all other higher emotional and spiritual qualities develop. These qualities include, but aren’t limited to: sensitivity, empathy, compassion, and a deep feeling of connection to themselves and the world. This area also includes the need for physical exercise and free, natural movement, and the acceptance of sexuality.
- Adults taking an interest in and accepting the child’s feelings and experiences – the child’s experience of the world and how it strikes them.
- Exposure to the natural world – its sights, sounds, smells, colors, rhythms and processes. Forming a personal relationship to our planet earth and a sense of the interconnectedness of plants, animals, and all people. Appreciation for impressions, a sense of aesthetics, and an awareness and eventual sense of responsibility for the bigger environmental picture.
- Able to be both alone and with people, to connect and to separate; to be comfortable in both realms and able to transition easily between them. Includes making and having friends; an openness to people of all ages, diversity and different cultures; an ability to listen and communicate; and an acceptance of death – the ultimate parting.
- An experience of rate, rhythm and routine, discipline, consistency, a sense of the right time and place for things, an ability to delay gratification.
- Recognition of, and opportunities to develop innate talents and abilities.
- Learning how to learn: learning how to approach learning anything. This includes setting, prioritizing, and achieving goals, problem solving, making their own decisions and experiencing/handling the consequences of those decisions, learning basic academic skills, and being encouraged to question the status quo and to ask the big questions about life.
- Development and mastery of basic life skills. This includes, but is not limited to: personal hygiene, cooking, cleaning, organizing, money management, building and fixing things, gardening, etc. Developing confidence in the ability to take care of one’s self.
- Acceptance of and appreciation for life’s difficulties and obstacles. A sense of the value and use that can be made of stress and challenge for growth and self-development.
- Responsibility and service: learning that “it’s not all about me and getting everything I want, when I want it.” A growing understanding of the importance of being able and willing to work hard and to give back to the whole. Being able to make a meaningful, valuable contribution, large or small, to family or the world beyond, without praise or necessarily even recognition, and understanding that this is one of the most essential factors in building a positive sense of self. This includes, but is not limited to: learning how one’s actions affect others, developing a sense of community, exposure to the power of teamwork, an experience of being really needed, and a respect for diversity.
- Exposure to all of the arts: opportunities for creative expression in many areas and modalities. The opportunity to be creative is contained in all of the above areas, but especially here.
- Free play, laughter, celebration, ritual, wildness, joy!
